One of the reasons why I took a sabbatical this year was because I find it almost impossible to sit quietly. I'm someone who loves to dash around doing fifty projects at one time... stop briefly to breathlessly gasp out how busy I am... and then running off to yet another appointment/ task/ activity.
Like Martha, I cannot conceive how Mary can sit quietly at the Master's feet when there's SO MUCH TO DO! Of course, I've long learnt that the 'so much to do' is only in my eyes... lots of people in the same situation look around and say, "Hmm... NOTHING TO DO."
The Lord showed me that He has been developing in me the ability to wait recently...
Recently something happened that made me cross. I rarely get truly angry... If and when I yell at the top of my voice, that means I've already tolerated something a number of times and just can't take it anymore!
In my exasperation, my natural tendency wanted to grumble and nag. But I felt the inner voice of the Spirit say, "Wait."
I was like, "OK, God, I wait... then I scold, okay?!"
And again, the Spirit said, "Wait."
I waited. And then I began to see....
I began to see that the thing that I was cross about was such a small thing. In contrast, whilst focussing on that small thing, I had missed the big and beautiful things that had been happening and growing and developing. The Spirit pointed out in His quiet, gentle manner all the beautiful things that had bloomed and blossomed around the little small 'imperfection'.
And when I went home still a little cross but more calm and thought back, I realised how true that was. I began to see even more beautiful things that had begun unfolding.
And I realised too that the little thing that I was cross about... well, I'm a well-known 'picky' and 'fussy' person. Imperfections that I notice are rarely noticed by others!
And more, I didn't even know if I was right that it WAS an imperfection.
There were more decisions to be made this week, and each time, I feel that quiet voice saying, "Wait." I can do that now. I'm not in such a rush to dash about everywhere and create 'messes' that God has to undo!
There is a decision that is on my mind this morning... Soon I will have to arrive at a decision, of course... but the still, small voice of the Spirit again says, "Wait."