Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ps 116

God gave me this psalm this morning... how eloquently it expresses my heart's cry ('in my dismay I said, "All men are liars"')...

...and how wonderfully it personifies His deliverance and gifts and abundant blessings in my life this CNY season ('Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you')....

Psalm 116
I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the LORD :
"O LORD, save me!"

The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

I believed; therefore I said,
"I am greatly afflicted."

And in my dismay I said,
"All men are liars."

How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.

Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints.

O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant;
you have freed me from my chains.

I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,

In the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

Monday, February 8, 2010

But As For Me...

I literally felt heart-sick at one point last weekend... Thinking and reflecting about the human race (I include myself!)... Thinking about how people live for themselves and refuse to extend their hands to others...

You know I know very few selfless people in this world? One of those I know is Pst Kim in my church... that is truly someone who can work all the way for others. She can literally give up her life to be there for other people, to do jobs that will benefit other people, to go the extra mile to help, rather than use those same precious minutes and hours for the things she likes and to save her energy to do the things she wants to do.

Another person I know is Somaly Mam, founder of AFESIP. She puts her life at risk every day to rescue the child prostitutes in Cambodia. She doesn't look for riches for herself or nice things... there wouldn't be much point since some people have already burnt down her foster parents house to revenge themselves on the work she does... doubtless it won't be long before they try the same on her. Her life has been threatened, but it doesn't stop her walking boldly into a brothel and picking up the children there and walking out with them.

Yet another I know of is Christina Noble... she works with the street children in Vietnam and Mongolia. It's a whole different life for an 'ang moh'. Hot and dirty and smelly... and needs, needs, needs all around her. She doesn't have a minute left over just to enjoy 'self'. All her time and energy is spent giving street kids a different life.

I guess the thing about all these ladies is that they have suffered. They've gone through much in childhood. And out of that, just as crushed blossoms exude fragrance... they, too, release their lives as 'frangrance' to bless others.

Does it take pain and suffering before people live for others? I posted about Sr. Paulina before... the pain that she went through before starting the prison dog program to reach out to inmates. Her life certainly seems to say so.

I believe each person chooses how to live their life... I believe that few people who've been abused survive abuse and live to be the 'success' stories of humanity. Those we champion are those who made choices that were nearly impossible... and made it.

And as for me, what will be my choice? To live for myself because others around me do so? Or to care and to love and to reach out and to help?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

"**** in return*

Last night as I prayed, I got pretty upset and said, "God, look! After all I've done, I get '****' flung at me in return by the same people I'm trying to help."

And God showed me Jesus with people holding on to His arms, pushing Him against the cross and raising the hammer to drive the nails into His wrists, and said, "Gillian, look! After all Jesus has done, He gets nailed to the cross by the same people He came to save."

What can you say to a response like that, except to bow down and worship Him for His act of Love?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I love this....

"The greatest act of faith that we can do is to forgive others their faults and failings. I was traumatized for much of my life. No one will pay for what was done to me, but I don't have any hate or bitterness for them.

If people have hurt us within the church, don't give up the church because of a few. You are the church and belong there.

I have met my share of hurtful people ~ priests and religious and others who have judged and treated me horrible. But there is no person on earth that will pull me away from where I belong.

Stand with your head up and move forward, praying for those who have hurt you and by doing this, you will find God."

Sr. Paulina Quinn

Prison Dogs

Yesterday I was watching a movie on Sr Pauline Quinn... the nun who started the prison dogs program.

I was really impressed that they had 100% of the ladies who left the prison NOT going back to prison! Those are awesome numbers! I guess it's the love of a dog... never rejecting... never judging... always loving and forgiving...

Sr Pauline Quinn went through hell herself and she used what she'd gone through to extend hope to others who are still going through hell. This is her story...

One part of the movie that touched me was when she showed her arms (in the movie, of course! Not the real piccie!) which were scarred from burning and cutting herself and being tied in mental institutions. I could understand perfectly what she meant by, "transferring unbearable emotional pain into manageable physical pain". I've been there.