Last Sunday the special speaker in our church shared that she didn't finish her high school education unlike her university-graduate siblings. Things started going downhill after her 'music teacher's dirty hands touched me' and she had infections up to one point she was dragging her leg.
You know sometimes what is really hard about wrong touching? It's that... the person who did it goes off scot-free. The person who did it can even smile at you when you meet at functions (remember most abusers are known to their victims?) knowing that you're feeling horribly uncomfortable and afraid but can't tell anybody why. It's knowing that God has forgiven that person... and you're still stuck.
Being a Christian, you know the principle - forgive, forgive, forgive. And you can see the other person (if he/she is a Christian) walking off happily secure in God's forgiveness. It doesn't matter to them that what they've done to you is killing you inside. They don't care that you've felt dirty and unclean ever since they touched you. They don't want to know that you feel worthless and vulnerable.
Forgiveness isn't cheap, is it? It takes raw courage. No wonder Mahatma Gandhi said forgiveness is a trait of the strong... because only the strong can forgive.
Sometimes the forgiveness and grace and mercy and justice of God just overwhelms me. When I meet with those who've been sexually abused, I cannot fathom the humongous wave of love that covers the sin of those who did it.
And to know that His grace and healing is enough for those who have been abused.
God, I know You said, "Vengeance is mine. I will repay." It's just gonna take a while for my little head to wrap itself around Your greatness.