Wednesday, March 17, 2010

New RAD AF class

Yesterday I tried out a new Advanced Foundation class. I'm still waiting to hear back from the teacher whether or not she'll accept me as a student.

The usual hiccups from learning from two different schools - different steps in the same exercise. I've ordered the RAD Advanced Foundation DVD so that I won't be confused by these two different styles.

I got a bit of a shock at two of my classmates who are white girls, though. The one other student in class who was Chinese was like me - a bit tubby, but we've both learnt to pull ourselves up so straight, you would think we have boards in our stomachs and backs.

These two ang moh girls? Goodness, they were STICK thin! And I mean stick! We used to have very thin girls in my church like Faith and Caroline. Trust me, these girls were way, way thinner than them.

I definitely need to work on my hip joint - it's so tight that when I do a front developpes, anything above 90 degrees and my hip starts going up with my leg (definite no-no in the ballet!) But whenever I start a new class anywhere, I give thanks to God because of my feet. I may be the lousiest student in the class (I usually am pretty bad compared to girls of my standard) but I still have beautiful feet that are a gift from God.

I feel such freedom when I go for a dance class. I don't know why. I mean, ballet is something so tough, that you can end up in tears after trying for twenty minutes just to do a simple double pirouette without falling off to one side. But just for that one hour, I feel as if perfection has opened up to me.

I love the fact that I can try my very hardest (or not!) and it's all my own choice.

The other day I told God, He has given me this beautiful gift called dance, I want to give it back to Him. I'm so blessed to have this special thing that I can hold and play and just enjoy and cherish... and I want to use all I have learnt to glorify Him someday.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Uncle Mak's Birthday Cupcakes


Sheryl from BITO was so kind.... she changed her plans just to make these beautiful cupcakes for Uncle Mak.

Uncle Mak is our worship director. Every Friday when I see Uncle Mak at prayer meeting, I will say, "Thank you for serving, Uncle Mak!" as quickly as possible so as to be the first one to say it! Then Uncle Mak will say, "It's a privilege!" Some weeks, Uncle Mak will say it before I do! It's just a funny joke, because I once wrote an essay about how Uncle Mak said, "It's a privilege" when I said thank you to him for serving, and ever since then, either he or I will say, "It's a privilege!"

Rachel Yao went with me to collect the birthday cuppies because she was afraid I would pass out halfway from asthma! *lols* Thanks Rachel <3... I enjoyed talking with u all the way to Bukit Jalil and back, and more, I really appreciate your concern... you didn't know it, but I felt pretty unwell last Sunday and it helped a lot to have you along.

I asked different church members to please introduce Uncle Mak when we present the birthday cupcakes to him at Psalmist, our church's coffee house, but everyone was really shy and didn't know what to say.

Thank God for dear Mayya... she spoke beautifully! After the visiting Russian speakers had finished their presentation, she gave a speech about Uncle Mak and Pst Kim came over and lead him by the hand to the front where Christina had carried the cupcakes and lit the candle.

Then we all sang Happy Birthday and Blessed Birthday and then some church members went to the front to see the lovely cuppies! But I noticed when they ate the cupcakes, everyone left the pictures behind like so scared to eat the picture like that!

I'm glad we got the chance to do something nice for Uncle Mak... he is so quiet and serves so faithfully and very supportive, and he loves Pst Kim to BITS! I think that to me, coming from my family, is so important... I love to watch their love for each other... It makes me think, maybe, a happy marriage ISN'T impossible after all.

Uncle Mak and Pst Kim are a beautiful couple who show the church and especially the youths by example how Christians should live their life... serving quietly, faithfully, with good character and gratitude and love. Thank you both of you... I <3 you!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

1 Thess 4:6

This verse popped out at me when I read it this morning... God's loving reassurance that He DOES see... and He will avenge...

"3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified."

Monday, March 1, 2010

Scot-free?

Last Sunday the special speaker in our church shared that she didn't finish her high school education unlike her university-graduate siblings. Things started going downhill after her 'music teacher's dirty hands touched me' and she had infections up to one point she was dragging her leg.

You know sometimes what is really hard about wrong touching? It's that... the person who did it goes off scot-free. The person who did it can even smile at you when you meet at functions (remember most abusers are known to their victims?) knowing that you're feeling horribly uncomfortable and afraid but can't tell anybody why. It's knowing that God has forgiven that person... and you're still stuck.

Being a Christian, you know the principle - forgive, forgive, forgive. And you can see the other person (if he/she is a Christian) walking off happily secure in God's forgiveness. It doesn't matter to them that what they've done to you is killing you inside. They don't care that you've felt dirty and unclean ever since they touched you. They don't want to know that you feel worthless and vulnerable.

Forgiveness isn't cheap, is it? It takes raw courage. No wonder Mahatma Gandhi said forgiveness is a trait of the strong... because only the strong can forgive.

Sometimes the forgiveness and grace and mercy and justice of God just overwhelms me. When I meet with those who've been sexually abused, I cannot fathom the humongous wave of love that covers the sin of those who did it.

And to know that His grace and healing is enough for those who have been abused.

God, I know You said, "Vengeance is mine. I will repay." It's just gonna take a while for my little head to wrap itself around Your greatness.