Monday, July 19, 2010

The ones who don't quite make it...

X, is still on my mind....

The other day I saw someone whom I thought was X, and I almost called out to her... but it wasn't her.

I don't know what it was about X... what caught my eye about her, if you will. Maybe it was that aura of... just not quite being able to make it...

I remember on the last night of Camp Vision when I was talking to Suan, she asked me how I found camp. I enthusiastically told her that I loved it because I had wanted to work with at-risk youths for quite a while.

I told her that the youths who I am always drawn to are the ones who just don't quite make it. The ones who keep falling.... the ones who find it hardest to climb out...

And she asked a very perceptive question, "Why is that? Is it something in your past that causes that?"

And I was struck dumb.

I didn't know why. I was literally paralyzed as a myriad of images flew through my head and a wave of emotions swelled and crashed...

Finally, I choked out, "Just stuff."

And Suan was astute enough to say, "Okay." and leave it at that.

But that stuck to me... why couldn't I answer? What had been triggered by that swift, penetrating question?

And I thought back... and I remembered....

Me.

I'd forgotten...

I WAS one of those misfits. I WAS one of those who was always getting into trouble. I WAS one of those whom people shook their head about and thought there was no way I could possibly make it....

Until God came into my life, a difficult, messed-up teen... to say, "I will redeem this one and make her my own."

And He did.

Because I always knew deep in my heart how precious was this second chance in life, this faith in me, I purposed very early on that someday I would give to others a second chance... yea, a third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh chance, if need be!

I know no one is 'hopeless' and 'useless' because those were words thrown at me... and today, I'm not that.

Somebody once believed in me and gave me another chance in life. Today, I give that same gift back to others.

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