R, I don't remember Anya. I remember Ariel so well... she couldn't stop chattering when I took care of her whilst you were busy with Anya... such a delightful child!
Do you know I was so happy for you when you got married?
You had the amazing courage to tell all of us who were youths at the time about your childhood and youth... the brokenness and pain you went through, how you were jealous of those who came from happy and well-off families... and because of you, the youths who came from brokenness, too, could share their stories.
I kept a space for you in my heart since then. And when you got married, I didn't tell you, but I had the happiest bubble expanding in my heart thinking that the pain that you had gone through was now behind you.
And now... this....
I do not grieve for Anya's sake because I know she is very, very happy... and a state of constant joy is the most wonderful place to be, is it not?
I grieve for you, my precious sister in Christ... the dear Friend who once looked straight through me and gave me the words someone once spoke to you... "Gillian, you are so lonely, you don't even know it yourself."
I wish I could hold you for a moment, but what good would it do? Your grief is beyond words, platitudes and kind hugs.
R, I'm praying for you. May the peace that passes all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.