Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Don't remember

Just finished reading Marlee Matlin's book "I'll scream later".

Her courage is outstanding. I truly salute her. She's so fiesty and fierce... she reminds me of Jessica, my Deaf sign language teacher. The same brilliance and spunkiness.

In one part of her book, she started the chapter by saying that, some things in your life, you never speak about, not to family, not to friends, no one. Some things, you want to forget, you try to forget. But you can never forget.

She goes on to detail two horrific things that happened to her.

For one of them, she said, she would never be able to forget certain senses that she experienced, no matter how hard she has tried over the years.

And... I truly understand....

Some things, you can't forget. You try to forget. You try to block things out of your memory.

But sometimes, you forget to be careful, and carelessly turn and face the door, open with the memories roaring at you... before you can slam the door shut and lean your back against it in time to press it close... to forget, forget, forget...

Maybe, we will never forget... Maybe memories are forever. But maybe, we can use ugliness to make healing oil for others.

And if memories are truly forever, it doesn't matter... Because God is forever too. So there's no need to be afraid.

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