Thursday, September 29, 2011

Standing Up

I used to wonder what it was like in the days of apartheid... in the days of African slavery in the United States. I thrilled to read of stories of the Underground Railroad, of abolitionists... I wondered what my choice would have been in those days. When I read of the brutality served on the Africans and those who harboured runaway slaves, I shuddered... thankful that I was not born in such an era and having to make choices that would either make my conscience uneasy or risk my life.

Learning to take a stand, in the face of opposition from even friends, is one of the most difficult things I'm learning today. And as ever, I wonder what is ahead of me in my journey that God would bring this lesson into my life for me to look at and to learn and to grow strong from.

Because I am lonely. And that loneliness is tough. Easy to say, stand up and be counted. Difficult when I stand alone and see nobody else standing up with me.

I wonder where the strength of great men and women like Martin Luther King Jr. II came from... It is easy to say "I have a dream"... It is difficult in the early days of the dream when there is nobody with you.

Maybe all I need to hear is God's still small voice saying, "I am with you even until the ends of the earth."


The most difficult thing I had to learn in LP was showing up - as someone with an opinion, as a leader. I prefer to hide in the background; doing a lot, somehow normally acknowledged as a leader, but not showing up in front.

I can't do that here - it's not fair to my team. And... it's not fair to the world, either. The world doesn't need more followers; it needs more leaders who will stand for what they believe is right (and boy, do we pray as leaders that our decisions are right!)

I find the LP journey such a deep and meaningful one... Less a jokey, fun thing. There's so much to learn and experience; relationships, touching others's hearts, contributing to the world, growing... growing... growing.

Monday, September 19, 2011


Learning each day what is possible - challenged to reach deadlines and heights and standards of excellence that I once would not have thought possible. Learning that in my life I have been lazy! There is a higher standard than what I've been achieving all this while. Going in excellence is what I am supposed to be doing - I am a Christian, and we're supposed to be excellent! But I've been lazy and sloppy, thinking I'm doing okay, because I love to compare and just do a little bit more.

Now learning to be the extraordinary that I am supposed to be... running full stretch and frustrated when I don't feel that 100% in me. Making new choices to GO AT A 100%!!!!

And along the way, dropping all the old baggage that only brings irritating habits that annoy people or brings negative attention. I don't need all that garbage on me when I'm running full-speed! It only slows me down!

I wish everyone had this opportunity to live life to the fullest. I want to bring it to everyone I know!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Along the way

So much I don't get....
Lots to improve...

Sometimes sad, weary, cranky... Sometimes exhilarated, happy, excited... Never numb anymore :>

Being in LP is like seeing life played out... Not life itself, but just our lives... My life. With added joy and moments of exhilaration when you reach peaks that you never thought possible...

At the same time, I'll not easily forget sobs that I've never reached before as I reached breaking point...

At the moment, I feel... disillusioned. Not with AW or LP... maybe... life? And isn't it strange that at the moment I feel disillusioned, I also look up to other people in a new way?

I had a funny yearning to listen to the song by John Lennon this morning - 'Imagine'. There are phrases there that strike a chord in my heart.

Sometimes, I wonder - let go of the innocence and hope, or cling on tight, have faith and believe?