Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The End

3 months journey ended... And what an incredible journey it has been. Truly a time of learning, and learning and learning... Growing and growing... Going through deep valleys and soaring (brief!) heights. And most of all, facing myself. Looking at myself in a mirror.

I didn't like it. But I think it's about time. And I've found new strength through the process... and most of all, I know I'm loved.

Monday, March 5, 2012

But let...

"I hate, I despise your religious feasts;
I cannot stand your assemblies.
Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,
I will have no regard for them.
Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!"
Amos 5:21-24

Timely... A word in season when I have no desire to go to church because it feels empty to go in and sing one thing and go out and do nothing. I often feel the people who are supposedly 'out there' do more because they are 'real'... They're not just putting on a mask.  This is the missing link for me.

Walk-out

:) I guess one thing that has changed about me is since I grew bolder is the courage to walk off when I don't like a conversation, rather than just sit there with a plastic smile, seething inside.

So the same thing happened yesterday... I was unusually tired. Have been thinking of going to visit the doctor to check for thyroid issues because I keep gaining weight and I feel so tired all the time. We'd just finished LP rally... Raced there after small group meeting... Raced to small group meeting after volunteering the whole day at the Parkinson's Awareness campaign... The 'poking' at dinner just got to me and I walked off.

No regrets.