Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Unfulfilled dreams

Last weekend I finally popped back home for the weekend. It's been a long time since I've gone back to Penang... I always protest that I'm too busy. My last visit was in Chinese New Year and that was just until the 3rd day before I positively insisted that I must return to KL.

When nattering to a friend about how long it'd been since I'd gone home, he said something pretty poignant about how it was no surprise and that being busy was a method I used to avoid.

I was struck dumb for a while. And I thought a bit about that... What was I avoiding?

I don't know why at that point my dream came to my mind...

It seems ridiculous because really, others would say that I AM living my dream in the work that I do with orphanage youths and at-risk youths. But only I know that I have yet to strike the head on my dream... solidifying it and bringing it to reality.

And why? I don't know. Once upon a time I thought that it was because it wasn't my dream anymore, but when I check and check myself I realise that this dream means something to me, and I will never rest till I bring it to reality.

Then why the hesitance? Why can't I move forward? What's holding me back?

I know there's dollops of fear of failure there, but that hasn't stopped me before. I'm a bull-headed chick!

So what's going on I wonder?

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