End of EA and onwards to YLD...
Inviting new Homes, inviting old Homes...
A whole new bunch of youths come to us and we will run again with them on their new journey, giving our all.
Maybe it's the pause, and maybe it's the graduation, but again comes the question, "Did we make a difference? ARE we making a difference?"
Maybe the question came up because one of the Homes was none too happy when their youths (all young women) came back confident... They saw it as 'arrogant' and I suspect it's because of their religion which propogates humility especially, most especially, in women. Thank goodness the other two Homes had positive things to say about the changes in their youths!
Maybe it's assessing different programs and choosing one, not knowing yet if it will have the greatest impact. We never have known. We, or rather I, have always just dived right in, trusting that even if it doesn't have a great impact, it will have some impact.
When I met up with C, we discussed and discussed all the different ways in which we can collaborate individuals and organizations to have the greatest impact on the children/ youths that we will meet who are or may have been sexually abused. And she warned me not to spread myself too thin, which is something she noticed I seemed to be doing. (No kidding! Duh!)
I told her that I would not give up my work with the youths.
It DOES take a lot of time, energy, effort... And in a quiet pause, I wonder if the results reflect the effort, or if, it really doesn't make much difference.
I'm tempted to go to Metro Ministries and train with them awhile; learn from them. Working with the toughest inner-city kids, whatever 'magic' they have that causes the kids to keep coming, is what I wanna learn! There is an impact there that keeps going. Of course, one thing they do have which we don't is regular weekly follow-up! Volunteers who visit every single kid every week to check on how they're doing, all the way until they're grown up!
At the point at which I can't remember anymore why I'm doing what I do, that's the point at which I stop.
P.S. A funny memory today... I don't know why it suddenly came to mind... When I did an exercise where I could choose to save others, including myself, or save others and 'kill' myself... The trainer asked me, as she went round, if I had 'saved' myself, and I said, "Yes". Her response? "Well, it's about time, Gillian!" I wonder why that memory came to my mind today...