Phew... December is always an exceptionally full month, what with year-end camp, and with GST licence in between as well...!!
My calendar is filling up full for 2013 already, and I'm not too sure whether or not to drop a couple of the activities I've planned!
I find myself wondering whether the direction I'm headed in is correct... or whether it's time to shift. Maybe the restlessness is God's way of nudging me to move.
I'm looking again at other countries... I think if I can save the funds, I'll drop by Africa and have a look.
But ultimately, for a movement to make an impact, it has to reach a solid size. Until and unless I 'settle' and choose ONE thing to grow, nothing will.
I struggle with the question, "Do I make a difference?" Right now, there is nothing that I can measure... Working with youths, I won't know the results in their lives. I've volunteered with youths and kids for so many years... And I find that because I hop here and there, serving so many in different capacities before I finally settled down with my own society, I have never 'measured' results. And there's nothing tangible to measure anyway. Just because a youth grows up and finds a job and works steadily, have I made a difference?
And sometimes I struggle with the question of should I serve those who need healing in their hearts and empowerment to move forward, or should I serve the poorest of the poor or the sick or the disabled? How do I measure the 'worth' of what I do?
I have bigger dreams than what I've produced so far. Do I stay with the society I've created or do I make a quantum leap to my dreams?