Wednesday, January 16, 2013


A rebuttal by a lady - S - from one of the universities has gone viral... I scroll down FB and I see so many posts of the video of her with the nastiest remarks and rants directed at her and condemning her.

It is scary! Really scary!

And I wonder if S is okay.... I wonder if she's all right wherever she is, or is she deeply hurt by the remarks thrown at her. It was just one incident, after all. ONE speech that, unfortunately, in today's day and age, someone video taped and posted online.

And I watched the video - I don't blame S for telling the girl 'Listen, listen, listen'... The girl seemed out of control to me the way she was ranting. I would have probably said, "Stop it, sit down!" And then a video of ME would have probably gone viral!

I think, what if a video camera was following each of us each day? Could any of us stand in the critical public eye?

Why is the world so cruel? Sometimes when watching Youtube, I will scroll down and read the comments... And very often, the comments are the nastiest and cruellest you could imagine. And I don't understand why and where these people come from. Is it okay to hurt others just because you feel like it? I daresay a lot of people will scoff at me as being oh-so-naive... But I don't think it's okay to be cruel. I think we need kindness and love in this world.

But most of all, I hope that S is okay... I hope friends and family who understand her will surround her at this time. She will need it. I wish and pray understanding, patience, kindness and love will spread in this world.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

On the other side of the bridge

It's really scary to sit on the other side of the fence in our country nowadays! ;>

Before this, I would just keep quiet... It didn't seem worth it to go against popular opinion. Much more so because in the churches in Malaysia, a lot of persuasion is going on to choose in a certain way, and God help you if you choose differently. I know a few friends in Malaysian churches who only privately dared to tell me that they did not agree... None of them dared to say so in church! They would surely be fired down and who knows? probably excommunicated! *lols*

*sigh* I don't know what's going on in my country, honestly. I 'get' the frustration and the anger with the things that have gone wrong.... I do! I understand! I've seen the injustice too!

But I also see some policies are GOOD... not bad! I faced a roaring backlash for supporting GST... Yet, if GST is evaluated, it isn't a bad thing! Some of the ideas and plans are what Malaysians have lobbied for for years, yet when it is given by the present government, it is looked upon with great suspicion just because it IS given by the present government!

And I'm sometimes afraid when I see the rallies and upsets in the country... I'll be honest, a part of me thinks of the business side of things too! How our country's economy will be affected by all this adverse publicity!

I remember when Singapore had their elections, I couldn't understand the rage that I saw on FB either... Why they were so unhappy. Surely Singapore is an utopia on earth compared to many countries... Expensive for sure, but safe. Economically secure. Strong and sound policies. And yet, the people are unhappy.

I went to Cambodia and India in one year... I came home and (*figuratively*!) kissed the ground when I arrived! I was grateful, exceedingly grateful, for my country Malaysia.

I get that some reform must take place... and it IS taking place in the hands of those who choose to take up positions of power and responsibility to make real change.

Those who go and yell in the middle of a field with other yellow-coloured demonstraters... Do those make a change?

A letter to whomever

Recently I did an exercise together with the youths... All of us took a sheet of paper, and wrote a letter to whomever we wanted, imagining that we were writing this as our very last letter before we die. We could choose whom we wanted to send it to, and whatever we chose to say.

It turned out pretty emo! I wrote 'Dear family' and the first sentence I wrote was, "I'm sorry I've always been too busy to spend much time with you."

Very surprising and good wake-up call! So my New Year resolution - at least once a month with family.

Friday, January 11, 2013

I feel validated

Woke up at the ungodly hour of 2a.m. to a joyful *BARK!* from my sis' dog... *sigh*. I have little sleep nowadays because that canine sleeps the whole day and spends the night begging for 'play time please, Auntie Gillian!'

It wasn't a bad thing, as I wanted to catch my favourite TV series anyway, and here's the thing about me - if I wake up in the middle of the night, it takes a couple of hours minimum to go back to sleep.

So I woke up and turned on the TV. Funny twist in the show this time... A lady whose character I don't particulary like (too paranoid!) was acting as the victim of an assault.

For the first time ever, I heard someone else say, "** was too heavy... I couldn't move."

It felt validating to hear someone say that... Nobody I know has said the same.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Innocent child

Haven't been able to get Law and Order SVU lately... Maybe it's been discontinued from Hallmark.

Turned on the TV (in a bit of a weekend mood!) and chanced on a documentary on Maristka Hargitay.

Background: She is the main role in Law and Order SVU. She plays a cop in the special victims unit who was born out of rape. Totally love her tough, raw character. (To think about it, I love any character who is tough and raw!)

Most of all what struck a chord in me is that she was born out of rape. Although I know it's just a regular show with plots written by creators who don't necessarily have experience of what they're writing about. I remember a session where her mom rejected her with spitting cat rage. I watched it with full attention at that point.

I just want to know... A part of me wonders whether that pain and rejection will ever go. I spent my childhood watching L get whacked 10 times more severely and regularly than I ever did. I always wondered why. When I grew older, I just figured that no woman should ever keep a child born out of rape... the rage seems to grow in a woman's heart as the child grows.

And as I watched L grow and live, I wondered if the ups, the downs, the crazy turns, would ever cease. Was there peace down the road?

I'm grateful someone is willing to address this issue, even if it's on a silly tv show. I love seeing Martiska's character use pain to save other survivors.

I was interested to hear in Maritska's interview that so many women wrote to her, that eventually, she formed an organization called Joyful Heart which takes survivors of rape to retreats and experiences for healing. I love that so much!

I hope that's what is down the road...