Friday, December 13, 2013

Adrienne's story

I met Adrienne at the Protect and Save the Children workshop on Preventing Child Sexual Abuse. There was something about her and her answers to the questions that the trainers would throw out to us that made me look over to her and wonder. She was so spot on with her replies. 

I kept in touch with her after the workshop ended... She is someone who is passionate about abused and trafficked women. 

I just returned from Kiwanis camp. And on the last day of camp, I saw this incredible sharing that she did on a public FB page that just amazed me....


'"Tell me something interesting about yourself"

"I accepted the apology I never got."

"What happened?"

"I was raped by my ex-boyfriend years ago. And I didn't realize till later. I didn't realize that I was a victim. The worst part of it was blaming myself. I did't realize how much it affected me until I finally come to terms with it. Only after I stop blaming my
self, I could move on. I accepted that it wasn't my fault. Getting off that was the hardest part. Getting off the hate I felt for myself. Getting off the guilt that I blamed myself for. I was such a different person then. I couldn't think straight, didnt know how i got through, all I know is that I was really lost for a few year. My perspective of things have changed now. Then things just changed, for the better. Now Ive come to terms with myself. And now I'm just living life. Happy."


"Did you ever confront him?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Its all in the past, and also because he doesn't know. I don't think he ever realized that my NO meant NO-not YES"'

I was just blown away by this brave, generous sharing. She shared with me that she wanted to help other victims be brave enough to reach out and share their story to someone who can help them too. 

It may not seem very generous to some people to share a story like this publicly. But there are cruel people out there who love to throw brickbats at survivors who dare to share their story. There is so much shame and fear of how others will judge you that wraps survivors in silence. To dare to share just for the chance that others may dare too... That is so 'wow'.

:) She was pretty surprised that I had guessed she was a survivor. I think it helps in the work I want to do to be able to hear.  

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