Sunday, September 14, 2014

Ugly

A year on and I can barely stand to see photos of myself. People tell me, "You've gained weight, haven't you?" I get dreadfully tired of going thru the litany... 'Yes, I found out I had hyperthyroid and I took the medication and gained about 8kg in 4 months." I wonder if all the people who tell me that are unoriginal or think I'm blind and have not looked at my reflection in a year!

Worse are the comments like, "Hmmm... Time to lose some weight, huh?" And, "Aiyah, rubbish la! My wife also got thyroid; she din become like that!" Whereupon rude commenter's wife gently informed her husband that that is because she did not take the medication, hence retaining the unnaturally thin size that all hyperthyroids have!

The final straw was my doctor muttering that perhaps my weight gain was due to exercise changes or food habits! I made her look at the records whereupon she admitted that yes, I gained all the weight during the time I took her medication, and yes, I had not gained even half a pound in all the months since I stopped taking it! Then she blithely informed me that 'we do not give medication to reverse that' and pressed replacement meal shakes on me instead!

I feel heavier and slower when I run and all the kms do not remove the weight. I'm panicking and there is no floor that I can stand on in this tilting crazy mocking world.

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